Evangelion: I can (not) Live rightly
by pawned90210
Summary: Komme, Susser Tod. God's in his heaven; All's right with the world.
1. Chapter 1: I am (not) happy

It was a normal start to what would have been a normal day. My alarm clock was going off at exactly 6:30 in the morning, and not a sound came from around the house. As I pulled off my cover, the cold winter air attacked my chest, legs and arms, and as I climbed down the ladder, my body almost instantly adjusted to the temperature. Also, I thought of how genius I was to put it on my desk, but then realised it didn't always work. Because I put it there, I have to get out of bed to turn it off. Genius. A I pulled my shorts on, I grabbed my school uniform and headed for the shower. As I turnt it on, I scoured the house for a towel and after a while, found one. As I stepped into the shower, which was bloody hot, I hummed the song 'Komm, süsser Tod' while thinking of how different anime's could change my life. Mainly Bleach and Evangelion, but meh. I then wondered what it'd be like if Asuka or Rei joined the school, and if I became a pilot. I then thought of how grim I would be. I've seen 'The end', and that was way grim. As I walked out the door to get Riley, I carried on imaging, with Asuka being dead, and my headphones singing 'Komm, süsser Tod' (I really like that song.) When I did meet him, we walked in near silence till we got to school. There, we just sat in silence until his girlfriend got there, and they messed about until the bell went. We then all proceded to our lessons, mine being English. When I arrived, my teacher stopped the whole class and got everyone to stand at the back as there was some new students. Once everyone was lined against the wall, it felt like we were to be shot. After that, we were given our seats, and the two new students had to stand at the front of the room, and when they did, I may as well have thrown a brick at myself.

Asuka Langley Sohryu

And

Rei Ayanami


	2. Chapter 2: I am (not) a good pilot

**In this one, I have swapped Sahaquiel and Sachiel around, so now Sachiel is 10th, and Sahaquiel is 4th.**

* * *

"Do you two know each other?" The girls stared at each other for a few minutes before both replying "Yes."

"Would you both sit... over there, next to Joe." That snapped me out of my staring contest with Rei, and as they came to sit next to me, I grew increasingly nervous, and could not help but stare at Asuka.

"I wonder if she has a boy-" Remembered Shinji. Prick.

"WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT!" Asuka shouted, launching herself halfway across the table to grab my tie and pull me towards her.

"I'm sorry!" I replied, trying to pry my tie out her hands.

"Your such a wimp. Your just like Shinji."

"BITCH PLEASE! Don't compare me to that shit! He had one job! He started third and fourth impact!"

"What the hell are you-"

"Guys?" Miss butted in. "Shut up."

"Sorry miss." We both replied, staring at each other. I looked slightly to her left to see Rei staring at me, which was slightly off putting.

"I'll tell you later." I mouthed, before listening to miss once more. Unsurprisingly, she didn't say anything. Maybe she didn't know.

* * *

As the bell went for tutor, I wondered if this meant that even the Eva's were real. It was possible, or maybe it was just the characters. You never know. So I sat on the end of the table, next to the door in my tutor room, with my head buried in my hands, when the door opened to show my least favourite person of the day. Asuka.

"Really?" I muttered "Why would you do this to me?"

"Because you still owe me an explanation."

"Why my tutor?!"

"I just happened to be put here."

"By whom?"

"My CO."

"Really? She put you here? Bitch!"

"Why? Is that a problem?" She smirked madly, sitting next to me. "Don't you like me?"

"Oh! Oh no no no no no! You... aright I suppose. You have your goods and bads."

"What makes you think you can judge me so easily?! HUH?! TELL ME!"

"I can't!"

"WHY NOT?!"

"BECAUSE I CAN'T!" I shouted, now not caring that there was other people in the room. "I'll tell you later."

"Fine. Don't expect this to blow over though. You seem to know too much."

"Whatever. Just let me get my lunch first, then I'll meet you in the library. You'll need to log on to a computer."

"Your not my boss!"

"I'll just tell Rei."

"You wouldn't."

"She's in the tutor." I wouldn't, because she would just tell Gendo. As the bell went, everyone scrambled out, and instead of going straight to the library, she followed me to the line instead. "I thought I told you to go to the-"

"Hey, no pushing in!" One kid shouted.

"Fuck off." I replied, shoving him out the line and pulling Asuka and Rei in behind me. "I thought I told you to wait in the library."

"Our CO said that you'd pay for you, me and goody two-shoes."

"Fuck sake." I moaned, ordering my ham and cheese sandwich. Asuka was already scanning the display, pointing at two different sandwiches, while Rei just pointed at a salad. They both looked at me, and I at them, before I gave in and ordered their meals. As we walked to the library, me and Asuka quickly scoffed our food while Rei put hers in her bag. "Right then!" I muttered, sitting in front of a computer. I logged on and after a few minutes, shouted "BOOM! Everything you need to know. About you two, Shinji, Eva's NERV, and the impacts."

"And anyone can see it."

"Yep. I wanna be a pilot Asuka. I want to help you and everyone else. It would be absolutely bad as-"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"What the hell?!" Few people shouted. A high pitched scream pierced everyone's ears, and many people fell to the floor in pain.

"Fuck!" I yelled, covering my ears. It then dawned on me what that noise was. "SHIT! Asuka, that's Ramiel!"

"WHO?"

"The 5th angel!"

"SHIT!"

"My thoughts exactly! You two need to suit up now! Tell Misato that we're on our way. She needs to warm up three Eva's, right now!"

"We don't know how to get there!"

"God fucking dammit! Where the hell are you Misato?!"

"Right here. Thank you for looking after them two."

"Take me with you!"

"What?" She stopped halfway through a turn.

"Put me in 01! You'd have two Eva's working."

"Three actually." Rei stated.

"No, you're too injured to fight!" You could see the cogs turning in her head, but I wasn't focusing on that. I was instead focusing on stopping myself (and failing to do that) of thinking about a threesome with her and Asuka. It would be good. And before I could stop myself, I blurted out " Did you know that you are the youngest looking, prettiest, and down right sexiest 29 year old I have ever seen!" I could kill myself. I did just do that, didn't I? Another scream shocked the school.

"P-pardon me?" her cheeks turnt a bright shade of pink.

"You are." Might as well role with it. " When I first saw you, I thought you were only in your teens, but it turns out you weren't, which really surprised me." She thanked me and started walking away, with Asuka and Rei in tow. After 10 minutes, we were at the facility, with bright lights shining everywhere, people shouting, and machines whirring.

"Girls, get suited. You know the drill."

"Yes ma'am." They replied, before running off.

"Joe, follow me. One, I owe you roughly £4 something for their lunch. Two, what do you know about what's going on?"

"Well." I replied. "Can I just ask, what angel are you on now?"

"Fourth, why?"

"Then I know that it is Sahaquiel who is attacking." On the way to Eva 1, I answered a few more questions before we got to the elevator. One lady sort off hanged over the edge of a railing to pass me a plugsuit, and I realised that a tight shirt is a very distracting uniform. I took the plugsuit and climbed onto the elevator, which chugged up the pathway.

"Get changed in the corner." She more stated then asked.

"What do the suits do?" I asked.

"If I remember correctly, they help you to synchronize with your Eva." Another scream. "Now hurry up! The blinds are up in ten."

"WHAT!?" I screeched, falling to the floor while struggling with the legs of my suit. I managed to pull them on just as the blinds flicked open, and zipped up the rest just afterwards. "So, am I in 01?"

"No, Shinji had to go up. You will be piloting that." I looked to see that she was pointing to what looked like a almost completely black copy of 02.

"Aright! Now, lets kick some ass! I know what to do. Where is the entry plug?"

"Up there." She pointed above the units head, where the plug lied dormant.

"And how do I get there?"

"Ladder." She pointed to the side of the unit, where a ladder laid, looking almost completely unused.

"I hate heights! Is there any other way?"

"Nope."

"Awww!" I moaned, walking over to the ladder. I started climbing it and told myself "Remember, it'll flood LCL. You can breath in it. Focus only on the matter at hand." As I got to the top, I was surrounded by technicians as I was hurried into the entry plug, then lowered into 03. Not long after that, the plug flooded with LCL, which in my opinion, taste like orange juice. "So. What's my sync rate?"

"Give me a minute. Are you even wearing the headband?"

"Umm... nope."

"Do you have one with you?" I looked around and found one on top of the control thingy.

"Yep."

"Then put the fucking thing on you twat!"

"Sorry! Jeez."

"You're at 75%. That could be bad. Be careful."

"Yes mum (!)" I mocked. "What percentage does damage become inflicted on the pilot?"

"Roughly 60%-ish."

"Oh...yay."

"Well, up you go!" The suit shook as the whole thing rocketed up, and I spent the whole time thinking of how to beat this thing with no injuries. As I got to the top and the roof opened, my comm's exploded as people were shouting over each other.

"Everyone ready?" Shinji asked.

"Yea- CRAP! IT'S CHANGING COURSE! I CAN'T GET THERE IN TIME!" Asuka shouted.

"Don't worry, I'll stop it. Misato, raise the blast doors!"

"Raising!"

I looked for Sahaquiel, and saw that it was heading straight for me.

"Oh bollocks!" I muttered, attempting to move my arms. "Again, bollocks. RELEASE THE BLOODY BOLTS!" As the bolts fell off, I had a quick look around and saw all three of them running towards me. I looked up, dug my feet into the ground, and stuck my hands up, preparing my A.T field. Shinji also stuck his feet into the ground, attempting to stop himself in time.


End file.
